no dreams within our hearts
by headlesshessian
Summary: Rus/Fem!Liet  "Not for the first time, I questioned the sanity of Ivan Braginski." Empress Catherine reflects upon the new acquisition of Lithuania, and how her Empire will handle it.
1. The First Ball

Inspired by "Past the Point of No Return" from Phantom of the Opera, and written to Ravel's "Valses Nobles et Sentimentales," among others. Title comes from "Past the Point of No Return." This is just a little thing, and I'm not sure if I like it enough to continue it. So... yes. Do help me decide.

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

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><p>I've said it multiple times and I have no qualms with saying it again: I loathe balls. However, being an empress calls for throwing a few, so here I was, feeling old and bored. My ladies flitted around me like overly-bejeweled finches as I waited for my empire to arrive.<p>

A good half hour after the ball had technically begun, Ivan arrived. He was not alone-our half of the recently partitioned Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was at his side.

Lithuania arrived on a cold and bright morning in November. I remember, because Ivan had been pacing the floor for the past two weeks when it had been announced that a blizzard would be on its way and could interrupt countless journeys along the road to St. Petersburg. However, the country arrived in time for the ball thrown for it, and thus attended.

I watched her entrance, and she kept her eyes on me as she walked in. We observed each other for a minute, country and queen, and I made a curious discovery in that minute-she was nervous, yet unafraid.

Her hair was arranged into a pretty updo that lacked the curls of the rest of the women, though it glimmered in a way that spoke of jewels woven into it. Her gown was blue, white, and obviously new-I'd seen the new style but not her design, so it obviously wasn't borrowed from some other lady. At her neck was a teardrop shaped ruby on a gold chain. Neither she nor Ivan was announced, as per usual, as neither had official titles, but her mere presence caused the room to burst into chatter that could be heard over the music.

I admit to rolling my eyes.

The sea of people parted as Ivan and the girl made their way over to me. Ivan bowed deeply, and to my surprise, Lithuania curtsied deeply as well. As she bowed her head, I noticed rubies woven into her hair. When she rose, I noticed her hand reach up to touch them in reassurance. She seemed quite ill at ease in her finery.

"Empress Catherine," Ivan said for my ears only with a small smile, eyes curiously bright. His purple eyes continuously twitched over to the conquered country at his side. "Your Imperial Highness, may I present to you the country of Lithuania?"

Said country stood ramrod straight, dipping into a small curtsey that barely rustled her skirt. She met my eyes and I noted they were green like the fields of hers that Ivan spoke of so fondly. The rubies in her hair gleamed in a familiar manner. I frowned.

"Come closer and let me have a look at you, girl," I stated. She seemed to bristle at being called _girl _but obeyed. With some effort, I rose from my throne and slowly circled her. She was quite pretty, and I suspected that she would still be so even after one removed the rouge and face paint I despised at her age.

Well, her physical age, at least.

"Do you have a name, girl?" I asked, observing the shapes of the rubies in her hair and wondering if they came from my jewelry box.

"Viktorija Lauranaite, " she said. As she said this, I saw Ivan harshly elbow her in the side. She flinched and gasped through suddenly clenched teeth. "…Your Imperial Majesty," she choked, eyes teary but glaring at Ivan. He looked apologetic as she brought a white-gloved hand to her side. She pulled back and sighed shakily, shoulders relaxing as it came back clean. I suspected that Ivan had elbowed a wound.

"Viktoriya Loranovaya," I said, clearly emphasizing the new Russian version of her name. She grit her teeth.

"You may call me Toriya if it pleases you, your Imperial Majesty," she said stiffly.

I shook my head. "No, I think Victory suits you." She flushed at the implication as Ivan laughed coldly.

Once the laughter had died down, Ivan looked at her curiously. "I believe Poland called you something different," he said, smiling with narrowed eyes. Beneath her face paint, Toriya (as I decided to refer to her) paled.

"Fel-_Poland_ had many silly names for me," she said, voice a much higher pitch than it had previously been.

Ivan frowned and moved to speak again, but I sat heavily in my throne and beckoned her over. "Come stand by me, Toriya." Ivan moved to follow, but I shooed him off. "Go dance," I commanded him. He bowed and turned around, but turned back to give Toriya a gentle smile. In a useless display of defiance, she turned her head towards me and tilted her nose upwards; refusing to look at him. Ivan looked heartbroken but obligingly asked one of my ladies to dance.

It clicked then. Ivan doggedly pushed the idea of taking Lithuania, cursed when she pushed him away, escorted her to the ball, provided her fine clothes and-

"Where did you get those jewels, Toriya?"

Her eyes widened. "Rusija told me to wear them… they're all quite lovely."

-_stole the jewels of his sovereign to give to her._ The list of things he'd done for the ungrateful wench went on.

My idiotic empire was infatuated with the country he had just conquered.

Not for the first time, I questioned the sanity of Ivan Braginski.

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><p>Like I said earlier, I don't know if I'll continue this, and I'm not sure where it would go, though it would stay with Empress Catherine of course. So I'd need input on that if it's gonna be continued. Do tell me what you thought of it.<p> 


	2. The Morning After

I listened to Astor Piazzola's "Yo Soy María" and "New Tail" from the How To Train Your Dragon score.

_**Note:**_ Catherine the Great was born as Sophie Friederike Auguste von Anhalt-Zerbst-Dornburg in Pomerania, Prussia. Her first language was German, and when she learned Russian, she had a reportedly awful accent. She was mocked for her accent so much by Russian courtiers that she changed the official language of her court to French… so that everyone would have an accent as bad as she did. Lithuania would know a bit of French as the Commonwealth had GREAT trade relations with pretty much all of Europe that wasn't conquered, to my knowledge.

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><p>The morning after the ball, I sent for Lithuania. To my surprise and slight chagrin, she looked much the same as she did the night before-completely, utterly, and dishearteningly sober. Apparently, my empire and courtiers are the only ones that favor the bottle. I distinctly recall sighing at that realization. From the doorway where she still stood uncertainly, Toriya fidgeted.<p>

"Oh, come in already," I barked with an impatient wave of my hand. Her eyebrows flew into her hairline but her lips twitched as she stepped into the room. Almost automatically, she dropped into a curtsey and once again stood, hands clasped behind her rigid back as though waiting for orders from a general. "Closer, Toriya," I sighed. _Was she always going to be this difficult?_ I wondered.

"My apologies, your Imperial Majesty," she murmured, coming to stand directly in front of me and bobbing a much smaller curtsey.

"You are forgiven. Now-" I began, but the conquered nation gracefully sank to her knees and presented me with a small, familiar bag.

"I asked Rusija about the rubies I wore last night. He told me, after I pressed him," Here she grimaced slightly, "that they belong to you," she stated, shifting uncomfortably. I took the bag and dumped it onto the carpeting. Toriya's eyes widened.

"I counted. Several times. All rubies that were once on my person were put into that bag," she said defensively, her face closed and guarded.

"Everything looks to be in order. And it wasn't your idea, quite obviously," I muttered, wondering how I was going to broach the subject of borrowing jewelry with my Empire.

She offered me a small, tight smile. I might have given her a thin smile in return. "Now, girl-" she stiffened, all affectations of friendliness going out of her body though she remained silent. "-Now that you're a member of this household, so to speak, you will be expected to pull your weight." Briefly, I wondered why _I _had to be giving this talk, before I remembered that I wanted Ivan nowhere near the blasted chit. "You can choose to work with my Empire, or you can assist me. You will be working with the both of us at many times anyway, but you must pick who you answer to first and foremost."

She seemed to turn my words over in her mind, or perhaps she was trying to understand the fast French I spoke, as her Russian was barely less accented than my own. "I choose to help you if you will permit it," she finally replied, not looking up. "I am unused to following orders that have been passed down through the ranks." Her face immediately lost all of what little color it had as she realized what she blurted out.

I couldn't stifle a bark of laughter at this proud comment, and she looked sharply up as though she had not thought me capable of it. Then she smiled, slightly, though with obvious glee. It was painfully clear to me at this moment that it would take Ivan a while to break her spirit. I remembered the way her fan switched back and forth during the ball. Every remark the Lithuanian made was given a different meaning with each tilt of the wood. And in dancing, her movements all had a military precision, as though each partner was a new opponent to defeat in the most elegant manner possible.

Her green eyes warily peeked out from under her thick lashes, in a manner that made me think of a cat ready to pounce on a mouse. It occurred to me that even Ivan might not be capable of breaking such a spirit.

"So you consider the empire of Russia himself to be one of the ranks?"

"Yes, your Imperial Majesty. He takes orders from you, does he not?"

"Such impertinence," I muttered, and she leaned back warily, as though to escape the reach of my arm had I chosen to slap her for that remark.

"I do not know when I shall become used to St. Petersburg," she stated blithely, standing and dusting off her faded blue skirt as if the conversation between us hadn't happened. I almost interrupted, but watched in what can only be termed amused curiosity as she stepped over to the window. "But it is far easier when I have a routine to fall into. When shall my duties officially start and what shall they entail?" she asked, turning back to face me.

I gave what I would like to think was a regal shrug. "A smarter sort of maid."

She flushed, looking humiliated at the very suggestion. "A _maid_, your Imperial Majesty?"

I rolled my eyes. "I assumed you'd want to work with Ivan. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, as Latviya chose to work under me too."

"Latvija," she murmured, seemingly forgetting about the maid comment as she retreated to a foreign place in her mind, far away from chilly Saint Petersburg. "Of course he did. Smart boy."

I decided not to comment on this, thinking of the jumpy younger country.

She continued, returning to the present. "Ah, but back to my duties, your Imperial Majesty?" I wondered if I should start keeping a mental tally of how many times she would say _your Imperial Majesty_ before she slipped into Ivan's habit of _Empress Catherine._ "I suppose you can assist me with my paperwork for the time being," I replied noncommittally. "That's what I relegate to Ivan as well."

She nodded, crossing the large room to come back to my front before she stopped abruptly, something obviously occurring to her. I did not have to wait long for her to speak. "You call him… _Ivan?_"

I raised an eyebrow, and she guiltily stepped to stand in front of me once more. "What else would I call him?" I asked, once again in amused curiosity.

"Well, I thought- I don't know how I came up with this delusion, but I just thought my Grand Dukes were the only ones who did that sort of thing," she said, looking down at the carpet as though the fabric had suddenly jumped up and nipped at her ankles. "Fel-_Poland's_ kings usually referred to him as Polska while I was in their presence."

"And what did your Grand Dukes refer to you as while you were in the presence of the Poles?" I asked, only half interested.

"I- I don't recall," she muttered, cringing and placing a hand once more at her side as though the admittance pained her just as much as her injury did.

"Hm," I said, not quite interested in the discussion. "Shall I refer to you as Litva or Toriya?" I mused.

She closed her eyes and walked over to the door, stopping to turn back to me. "Whichever pleases you best," she forced out through gritted teeth, before sweeping a deep curtsey. Without raising her head or any other part of her body, she muttered, "Dissmissed, your Imperial Majesty?"

"Dismissed," I replied, mentally chalking up one tally for the "Imperial Majesty" chart.

With her head held high, Toriya swept out of the room in her simple dress and bumped into Ivan, who was arriving for the morning report. "You must be more careful, Litva," he chided gently.

I did not hear her response, but it was rather short and was followed by a quick rustling of skirts and footsteps that suggested she sprinted off. Ivan walked in with a face like thunder.

I decided not to ask him what she said.

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><p>Wow, my first chaptered story… *whistles*<p>

Do tell me what you thought of this second installment! Not sure when update 3 will be, but it WILL HAPPEN. I have a rough outline for this story, so it will be finished eventually. I hope. Junior year = kicking my behind.

so yeah... thoughts?


	3. The Affair of the Sapphires

I know some of you wanted more Ivan/Toriya interaction. I added some to this chapter, and the next chapter (which ought to be either the last or second to last) is going to be pretty much ALL between those two. Hope y'all are happy with this!

I listened to Camille Saint-Saens' "Danse Macabre." (which happens to be one of my favorite pieces of all time. Open another tab, put it on, and come back.)

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><p>It took less than a month for Lithuania to prove her usefulness as an employee. Paperwork was completed in a clean and concise manner, and was always presented on time. Latvia's quality of work seemed to improve as well, or at least his handwriting seemed to be less shaky when the siblings worked together. The two became so close for a time that Ivan actually brought up the idea of separating the two, before Lithuania waltzed in from the adjacent room with a dangerous gleam in her eye and a "question" about the paperwork her "darling brother—that is to say, Raivis, of course" had to complete. I watched in silence as Ivan answered the question she had, and looked at her dealings with Latvia in a far fonder light than he previously did.<p>

It was while we were preparing for another ball that the trouble began again. This time, I had the misfortune to try to question Toriya about her relationship with my Empire.

"Your Imperial Majesty," came her voice from outside the doors to my chambers, a mere two hours before the scheduled ball. _The 273__rd__ time she's used that title, _I thought.

"Let her enter," I called. The doors were opened and she walked in, wearing what looked to be the simplest dress a woman of her standing would own. I guessed that she had thrown it on in haste to get to my rooms, as her hair was arranged in anticipation of the ball, and her face was already painted.

"What troubles you, Toriya?" I asked, not bothering to turn from my vanity. In the mirror, I could see her reflection, flushed with rage, curtsey deeply and walk over. She dropped a bag on the counter of my vanity, barely missing a pot of rouge.

"Are you aware that a set of your sapphires went missing?" she asked.

I looked at the black bag. "I suppose next time I should include my sapphires to the list of things Ivan should not take from my jewels," I drawled.

"Which means your emeralds will be next," Toriya muttered darkly. I pretended not to hear that remark and instead waited for her to either ask to be dismissed or continue the conversation.

"Your Imperial Majesty, if I may?" I nodded for her to continue, adding another tally to the _Imperial Majesty _count. "Do you have any idea why he keeps doing this? Does he _want_ to get me in trouble if I don't notice them on my nightstand and henceforth do not return them?"

I turned my head, ignoring the grumble of the maid doing my hair, and met her eyes. "You have no idea?"

"Well, I thought it was to get me in tro—" she started uncertainly, and I swiftly cut her off.

"Besides that."

She looked slightly annoyed, but it only showed in the tightening of her lips. "No, your Imperial Majesty, I don't."

_275, _I thought, as my maid gave her a warning glance. I hummed to myself, debating whether to let her know outright of my Empire's affections or play with her a little.

"What color is your gown for tonight, Toriya?" She looked at me, startled, as though that question was the last thing she was expecting. It probably was.

"It's—It's white, with a red sash. Based off the Parisian look," she replied. I nodded knowingly, my smile widening as I watched her eyes narrow.

"It seems to me he is—well, you know the colors of our flag, don't you?" Lithuania nodded, and I voiced her thoughts as they dawned on her. "He's simply letting the ballroom know who you belong to."

Her fury seemed to stun her into both silence and stillness.

I decided to drop another hint. "Think of it like a husband who likes to put his new wife in the colors of his house."

This brought her back to our current situation, though her fingers remained white-knuckled and clenched around the folds of her dress. Carefully, she said, "But I am not his wife."

I shrugged and turned back to face my reflection. "But you are no one else's wife either."

"But that isn't the point! I'm wearing," she checked herself," I _would_ be wearing the colors of Russia, and to everyone else I would just be showing some _newfound patriotism,_" she finished with a sneer.

"Which would make your life here at court so much easier, wouldn't it?" I asked with false indifference.

"But why would he want to help me?" she asked, belatedly adding her 276th "Your Imperial Majesty" to the end.

I waved my hand dismissively. "You're a smart girl; you can figure it out." She stood, silent in her indignation, and I called to another maid setting out my dress. "Fetch my rubies." I turned back to Toriya. "Wear them tonight. See what he says when he sees you in red and white."

I knew that neither of us could mistake the implication of placing her in Poland's colors. Toriya curtsied stiffly. "Of course, your Imperial Majesty."

I waved her off as the maid handed her the small pouch that contained the rubies she wore at the last ball. "Now do get ready."

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><p>Latvia escorted his sister to the ball. The two entered quietly, and, as they both tried to command as little attention as possible, remained mostly unnoticed until Ivan decided to go find her- excuse me, I believe his phrasing was that he was going to find <em>them. <em>As if he wasn't going to barrel over poor Latvia in his pursuit of Lithuania.

There were times when I really pitied that boy, and that particular ball was most definitely one of them.

I could actually see the reaction Ivan had to the new color scheme of Toriya's outfit. There was the split second reaction to simply _Toriya_ in fine clothes, and then there was the tightening of his shoulders as he quickly drew her to him, whispering harshly. She edged them closer to me, and I was able to make out "…Majesty is graciously allowing me to wear them, especially since I returned sapphires _belonging to her._" A few ladies and lordlings looked over, and the pair, sensing eyes upon them, smiled the same tight smile. Toriya even gave a cheeky little wave before Ivan batted her hand down. Keeping the veneer of a happy couple mostly in place, the two walked onto a nearby balcony that overlooked one of the many courtyards. I followed, curious. Then the argument _really_ began.

"I believe I told you that if you find something in your quarters you are to take the appropriate action!" Ivan hissed.

"_I _believed the appropriate action would be to return them to their proper owner!" Toriya muttered right back, leaning forwards and upward until their noses were almost touching.

"Next time when I give you jewels, you are to _wear_ them as they are _gifts_!" he said, desperately trying to keep his voice controlled.

"But they are _not your gifts to give_!" she exclaimed, frustration coloring her tone. I calmly drifted over, shaking my head to deter any attempts made to follow me.

"You have yet to notice the trouble I have gotten into for letting you wear them," Ivan said, sidestepping her argument. I turned the corner and hid in the shadow just outside the balcony the two stood on. Toriya seemed to suppress a shriek of anger, and her hands were balled into tight fists at her sides.

"No, I _haven't, _because _you_ have been _let off_ with a mere _slap to the wrist!_" she cried, taking a step away from him and breathing deeply to calm herself.

I was not expecting Ivan to chuckle, and neither was Toriya, as was evidenced by the sudden wariness in her gaze. She took another step backwards.

"Precisely. She indulges me in my whims," Ivan stated, "because I do try not to disappoint her in anything else. And I know everything there is to know about this palace; it would be difficult to keep these from me." I bristled at the thought that my Empire could keep things from me, but he tilted his head and nodded almost imperceptibly in my direction. My presence was noted, and his words were meant to appease her. Considering all he said, I thought it was a wise response.

The conquered country did not.

"So I, the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, am a mere _whim_ the Empress is letting you _indulge_ in?"

It was at that moment that I became certain that Ivan did not understand women, and at the very next that he shattered that certainty.

"Litva. Dorogaya Litva. Lyubov." Ivan's voice was low and warm, and his steps toward her were even and measured, as though he was walking towards an injured fox. She backed away, every step edging closer to the balcony.

"You- you- explain yourself! I am not content to be-" His stream of endearments had thrown her off-balance, and she was trying desperately to both recoup her losses and not let it show.

"You, dorogaya, are not the whim she indulges. You are far more than that. The act of indulging _you_ is what she permits me to do." Ivan reached up and brushed a gloved hand against her cheek. Toriya, mind obviously whirling, briefly allowed him the contact before turning her head away and looking into the snow-covered garden. Ivan let her do this, and simply watched her for a moment before glancing back into the ballroom and offering her his arm. "Come inside, dorogaya. Would you honor me with the next dance?"

Toriya stood looking away for a moment longer, and I used it to make my escape. The Lithuanian was tempramental enough without the knowledge that I had been eavesdropping on her conversation. As I walked away, I heard her faint, uncertain reply of, "Yes."

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><p>OK, so I don't speak Russian. At all. I'm going off of Google Translate here, so if I screwed anything up please correct me.<p>

Review if it so pleases you, because it would most definitely please me!


	4. The First Dance

Life happens. Thus, this update is a bit late (not that I had much of a concrete schedule to begin with.)

And it just occurred to me that I have yet to properly thank all my reviewers! You people ought to remind me; I feel guilty. So: thank you all very much, especially the anonymous ones who I can't PM back personally!

This is the scene I wrote this fic for. I listened to "The Point of No Return" from Phantom of the Opera, the final dance scene from Becoming Jane, and a dance scene from Emma (even though I hate that book with a burning passion). The dance is based off the dance from Becoming Jane. I have no idea what it's called, though-sorry!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, Toris would be kicking some serious butt all the time.

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><p>I regained my place amongst my ladies, who gracefully pretended I had never left. Ivan walked in soon after, tossing me a triumphant smile. <em>I've done it,<em> his expression seemed to say. I beckoned him over, which he obeyed after a reluctant look back to the balcony where Toriya still stood staring out into the garden.

"I will need to speak with her before your dance," I said, watching Ivan's face fall.

"But-" he protested. I held up a hand.

"Have I ever done anything that was not for your benefit?" He reluctantly shook his head. The violins struck up a new dance. "You will have to wait this one out anyways. Go request a song for the next one," I said, shooing him off.

He gave a perfunctory bow and made to go, but turned back after a few steps. "Please… don't scare her?"

I raised an eyebrow. He flushed slightly, correctly translating my look to "What did I just say?" He nodded then, and made his way around the dancing couples to talk to the conductor.

Movement from the balcony caught my eye. Toriya tentatively made her way into the ballroom and seemed a bit confused when she caught sight of Ivan by the conductor of the band. She then turned and caught my eye. I lifted a hand and waved her over in a manner that brooked no disobedience. She paled and waked over as though to her death, before curtseying and murmuring her 277th "Your Imperial Majesty."

I cut straight to the chase. "So now you see."

She nodded with a worried look on her face. "Ye-es," she replied, slowly, looking everywhere but my eyes.

"Do you?" I challenged.

She turned to locate Ivan in the throng of courtiers, then rapidly turned back to me. "He… l-loves me," she forced out. She jerked her head up and looked at me with somewhat-panicked eyes. "Does he?"

I looked back to Ivan. Though Toriya had turned away from the general spectacle of the ball and was watching me curiously, Ivan was animatedly gesturing to the white-clad nation with a fond smile on his face. The conductor had turned back as well and smiled knowingly.

"He is utterly infatuated with you. I cannot ask him outright, but I would not be surprised if he does, and that is why we are having this conversation."

"I don't- I mean, he just- it isn't my fault!" Toriya cried.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course it isn't your fault. You would be a crazy excuse for a nation if you tried to seduce him, and you've been resisting him quite intensely. Mayhaps he'll fall out of love with you in time." The music was beginning to wind down. I realized too late how little time I had to make my point. "Now, I cannot make this any more clear to you: I take my role as Empress _very seriously._" I leaned down from my throne. "I will do whatever is necessary to keep my country happy. Ivan is like a measure of what the people of this empire think. Yet, he can also think for himself, which probably explains his infatuation with you."

Toriya appeared to be deciding whether or not to be insulted by that remark, but nodded. "That is how it is for all of us, your Imperial Majesty."

_278_, I thought, before returning to my very important topic. I nodded sharply. "Now, Ivan himself has very little influence on matters of state. If he didn't have that precise measurement of what the people think, I'm not sure what we'd do with him. Either way…" I trailed off, wondering how to phrase my next sentence, before I saw Ivan making his way over to claim Toriya's promised dance. I reached down to grab Toriya's hand. The brunette looked shocked, but leaned forwards, understanding the importance of what I was about to tell her.

"This is what I ask of you, Viktorija Lauranaite: that you do not use his love against him."

The nation of Lithuania looked visibly unnerved at the use of her given name in its original form, which morphed into astonishment at the statement that came after it. I wanted to elaborate, and I regretted that I couldn't, as Ivan appeared behind her mere seconds after I shut my mouth, startling the wide-eyed Toriya into breaking our eye contact.

"Litva, dorogaya, you promised me a dance, did you not?" Ivan said, placing one hand on her shoulder. He smiled, the- pardon the pun, _victorious_ look from earlier obviously still plastered across his face. I was loath to let Toriya go, and judging by the way she clutched mine, so was she. Between the two of us, I think we were equally apprehensive about how many things would be changed by this dance. "That is, of course, if you can afford to spare her, dear Empress," Ivan said smoothly, though his hand dropped to the Lithuanian's waist in anticipation of a positive answer.

I glared at him. The look of triumph on his face was getting annoying, especially because I was in a clear position to see Toriya's look of stupefaction directly in front of him. "Remember, Ivan, that winning one battle does not mean you have won the war," I said, not caring whether he understood my cryptic statement as I released the Lithuanian's hand. Ivan took it as she let it drop, brushing his thumb over the back of her gloved hand before gently leading them to their positions. I noted absently that he had abandoned his gloves as well. Toriya turned and looked back at me with an expression different from the stupefied look she had been giving me earlier.

Her face showed awed wonder. But that wasn't all of it, really. Her field-green eyes were wider than I had ever seen them, and her lips were slightly parted in awe. But in her eyes I could see a glint of _something_. And, if I was to be perfectly honest, that hint of _something_ made me severely regret my request.

The pair lined up and the dance began. I noticed Latvia standing kitty-corner from Lithuania when he gave her what must have been his attempt at a reassuring smile.

The music began, but Ivan and Toriya started the dance in silence. That is not completely accurate, I suppose, as the music and the couples around them were quite talkative, but they were the only couple who did not speak. It was some sort of line dance, but the music seemed slower than it should have been. It could have been my imagination, though, as I seemed to watch Toriya's movements through a fog.

They stepped forwards, then backwards, letting go of the hands that briefly met. Toriya brushed past Ivan in the next move, circling him in a manner that was meant to seem sensual but only succeeded in making the Lithuanian look like a dangerous predator. _I can do this. I have done this to him,_ her expression said. Ivan looked little better, though the sensuality of his turn around Toriya was also diminished by the tender, besotted expression he wore.

The next information I learned from Raivis.

"I am glad that you are well enough to dance at this ball, Litva," Ivan said as Toriya came close to him once more at a switching of partners.

"I did not dance at the last ball?" Toriya responded distantly. Ivan chuckled and shook his head, falling into step beside her as the dance required.

"Nyet…You were unwell, Litva."

Toriya made an affirmative noise, meeting his eyes for the first time in the dance. Both stumbled through the next step; Ivan most likely due to her looks and Toriya most likely due to a sudden rush of power. The pair joined up with another couple, forming a circle, and thus remained silent.

When they broke apart once more, though, Ivan spoke again. "I am…" he coughed slightly, "Especially glad you are able to dance… With me."

Toriya looked at him, and this time,according to Raivis, _really_ looked. It was at that point that our earlier conversation seemed to hit her in a different way. She did not reply, and the rest of the dance passed in silence. Ivan did not seem to mind, however, as long as those large eyes remained fixed on him. Whether in triumph or fear, I spent the rest of the next three dances wondering. At the end of the third, Toriya curtsied deeper than any of the other dancers.

And upon leaving the dance floor, she grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, looked to see if anyone was watching (no one except me, really) and drank it all in one gulp.

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><p>one more part to go, guys. Smallish, epilogue-y thing, though.<p> 


	5. The Meaning of an Endearment

Remember when I said this would be a short, epilogue-y thing? Yeah, I lied. Also, Poland snuck in here in flashback and portrait form.

This is it, folks! Happy New Year!

I listened to: "The Flowers" by Regina Spektor on repeat.

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><p>The next morning dawned bright and clear over Saint Petersburg. Though the palace was still in the way it always was after a ball or party, many of the younger nobles (and those with higher alcohol tolerances) could be found bundled up in the snow-covered gardens. Ivan watched them from my window.<p>

"Why does everyone like the winter so much?" He sighed, touching the glass pane and cringing at the chill emanating from it.

"Don't make generalizations, Ivan," I reprimanded, without much bite. "I don't like this damnable season. All I ever seem to acquire in the winter is an illness of some sort."

Ivan let out a short bark of laughter, before abruptly sobering. "I wonder if Torija likes the winter," he said contemplatively, looking out the window at a couple having a snowball fight. "I think she might."

I skimmed over the next piece of legislation, dipping my quill into the ink to make a correction. "What makes you say that?"

Ivan still stared out the window at a scene that no one else could see. His voice seemed far away. "I rode out on a diplomatic mission to see them during the first half of this century, before we acquired Latviya. She was out walking with Pol'sha when I arrived. He was covered in snow, but she was of good cheer," my empire finished with a smile in his voice.

"You think Litva was the one who caused Pol'sha's snow-covered state?"

"Considering he pushed her into a drift a second after I turned the corner, yes."

I tried to picture Toriya smiling and carefree, and found I couldn't. "Hm."

Ivan, taking my noncommittal hum as a sign to keep talking, described a scene I tried to picture.

Roughly a century ago, Lithuania and Poland were still happily married. The Commonwealth presented a united front against my empire, and from what I could tell, both were united in their dislike for Ivan as well. That particular day, the pair were apparently practicing the time-honored strategy of discussing important things where no sane person would venture to eavesdrop.

As with many young couples, though, the conversation eventually turned to happier things. By the time Ivan arrived, he was able to follow the sound of laughter to find the pair.

_Good for him,_ I thought wryly, _I wouldn't have been able to recognize it._

But despite the good cheer of the Commonwealth, his reception was a frosty one. Poland, being the first to spot Ivan, quickly pulled Toriya to her feet and behind him. She peeked over his shoulder.

"Rosja. What do you want?"

Toriya intervened, looping Poland's arm around her waist and curling into his side. He immediately relaxed. "What Feliks means, is that this is rather unexpected. If we knew why you were coming in advance, we could have prepared a bit better."

Ivan smiled at her. Her eyes widened, and he smiled wider. This I had no trouble picturing. "It's not a large thing I am here for. I wish to speak about-" here Ivan cut his story off, adopting a pensive expression. "I can't quite remember why I was there."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Well, is there more to tell?"

Ivan nodded, smiling tightly. "Of course, Empress."

Toriya had found the request reasonable. Poland had not. "If you will excuse us for a moment," he had said, taking Toriya's hand and leading her around the corner. Angry conversation was heard in a mixture of Lithuanian and Polish too quick to follow. The volume escalated from angry whispers to just below yelling. And then Toriya's voice broke, and there was a rustling of fabric.

Ivan peeked around the corner to see Toriya wrapped in Poland's arms, her head on his shoulder. This I had trouble picturing for two reasons: one, Toriya just didn't seem like the sort of girl who would allow herself to be held in such a manner, and two, I had no clue what Poland looked like.

So lost in my thoughts, I only noticed Ivan had stopped talking when I heard the startling crack of wood breaking. Ivan stood at the window, the molding of the windowsill in pieces under one hand.

"Continue, Ivan," I said in a low voice, not bothering to scold him after observing the tension in his posture.

"They came back, more... _together_...than they previously had been. I could still tell they were at odds, but otherwise, they had put aside whatever difference was troubling them. And they invited me back to the estate." He paused, thinking of what came next. "He threw a snowball at her and started running back. She shouted something after hi-" abruptly, Ivan cut himself off.

"I was... wrong," he said with no small amount of bitterness after a small pause, once again staring out into the gardens at the couple playing in the snow.

"What?" was all I could manage.

"I haven't thought about that day in years," he mumbled. "What she said... It was Polish. I never understood it because I always tried to translate it from Lithuanian. She said-" here he said something I couldn't have understood if he had woven it into a grand tapestry.

"And that is Polish for...?"

Ivan laughed bitterly. "'I hate the cold.'"

"Oh, Ivan," I said, standing slowly (why was I so _slow _these days?), "Just because she said that a hundred or so years ago doesn't mean-"

Ivan turned to me and I stopped short. Those large violet eyes were pleading. "You don't understand; I need- She's so-" He cleared his throat, shutting his eyes briefly, and I grasped his hands in what I hoped was a comforting manner. My empire was in pain, and I would do all I could to remedy that.

"I can't explain it; she's like fresh flowers in the dead of winter, or, or_ something_," he said, frustrated at not being able to find the simile he was looking for.

I knew, then. I knew there would be no breaking him of this love for a long time, and I wished my successors more luck with my stubborn empire than I had. Ivan and I stood like that, with our hands clasped, for quite a while.

* * *

><p>After Ivan left my apartments, I decided to find Toriya. My reasons were not as clear as I might have liked; all I knew was that I needed to speak with her. When I entered her rooms, though, I was greeted with remnants of absolute chaos. It looked as though a windstorm had blown through her room. Amber jewelry was scattered across the dresser. Bonnets littered the floor. It looked as though a box of ribbons had exploded. In all the carnage, I nearly missed Toriya curled up by the window, looking more like a heap of muslin than a woman. Her hair was loosely braided, and various strands of it fell across her face. She was asleep, clutching something to her chest.<p>

"Toriya," I said. She did not stir, so I bent down to shake her. At that, she mumbled something, but remained asleep. "I should not have to do this," I groused, before pushing her off the the window seat.

She awoke with a shriek that brought several guards running into the room. I waved them out with a scowl, while Toriya just looked embarrassed as she scrambled to her feet.

"Your Imperial Majesty, I am _so_ sorry," she said. I sighed. 298.

I ignored the apology in favor of picking up the object she had been holding. Made of fine, polished wood, I recognized it immediately. It was the frame to a double miniature. I did not bother asking for permission to open it, and Toriya just watched. Inside, there were two paintings, of Lithuania and who I believed to be Poland.

"Feliks had it commissioned for our hundred-year anniversary. This was painted in 1669," Toriya said. It was an accurate representation of them, I thought, just because the artist captured Toriya so perfectly. She was smirking, looking at the portrait of Poland from under lowered lashes. The portrait of Poland had one eyebrow raised, staring back at her with the same sort of expression. It was a clever, confident sort of look they shared, one that said they could rule the world. _And,_ I reflected, at _that time they did. _

"We were so angry, before the end. I knew where we were going but I didn't have enough power to stop it. But…" she sighed, brushing a finger across the frame of Poland's portrait, "He did love me. And I love him."

"Love?" I said, a little surprised. "Do you mean _loved?" _I asked, making the past tense quite clear. _Maybe it was a mistake in her Russian._

She glared at me. "I do still love him. Am I still in love with him? I don't know. He could be annoying at times, but I have my faults as well. He used to call me-" She stopped, abruptly, backing away from me. "I'm sorry to have bored you with this inane chatter; you came here for a reason."

If I was younger and more ill-bred, I would have screamed in frustration. _You can't just leave something like that hanging!_

"What did he call you, Toriya? Viktorija? Some derivative of victory?" I asked, trying to keep both the thwarted curiosity and frustration out of my voice.

"Raivis called me Viktute," she said with a smile. I almost bit out _" I didn't ask about Raivis!" _ but restrained myself.

"But Feliks? Feliks called me, among other things, _Saulė._"

"Saulė," I repeated, the word unfamiliar on my tongue.

"Yes, Saulė." She stepped into the light, illuminating her features. An amber necklace gleamed at her collarbone. "He said it described me. I think it cleanly sums up why Rusija might be so infatuated with me, to be honest. It's a word in my language; my word for the sun." She turned back towards me. The sunlight on her hair gave her an odd sort of halo. "So now you see," she said, echoing my words from the night before.

"Yes," I said. Because, really, I looked at her as a source of light, something to warm his wintry world. But I also saw how cold she herself could be. And Ivan, trying to use her to keep himself warm, would only grow colder from his efforts.

"Empress…" she started. I looked at her wage an inner battle with herself. _And our tally stops at 298 "Your Imperial Majesties," _I thought.

"Yes, Toriya?" I said, handing the portraits back to her. She looked down at them, seeming to study the one of herself this time.

"Never mind, Empress. It doesn't matter anymore."

I came to stand by her and looked down at the girl in the portrait. She was happy, confident, and in love.

"No," I said, "It doesn't."


End file.
